Hope Floats

***Warning...this is a blog about infertility.  Okay...you've been fair warned.

"Hope" by Idina Menzel

This is the story
Of a bird with no wings
But certain that it can fly
Sailing on love
Into the head winds
Forcing it's way by and by

If only we were
As strong as this bird
Our spirit would never die

What do we name it
Hope is the right word
Hope is the bravest most beautiful bird
In the sky

Hope is a bird (hope)
Flies higher than others
And keeps all our dreams alive
Free of all doubt
Perfectly fearless
Fed by its will to survive

Imagine ourselves
Becoming this bird
We can when we dare to try
And see ourselves flying
Over the mountain
Hope is the bravest most beautiful bird
In the sky

Only hope can light the way
Only hope can heal the heart
Only hope can keep the clouds
From hiding the moon and the stars

If only we were
As strong as this bird
Our spirit would never die

What do we name it
Only one word
Hope is the bravest most beautiful bird
Hope is the bravest most beautiful bird
In the sky

Only hope can light the way
(only hope)
Only hope can heal the heart
(only hope)
Only hope can keep the clouds
From hiding the moon and the stars

This was a story
Of a bird without wings
And rose above everything
Never was giving up hope

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope.  What a beautiful word.  A word of promise and dreams and happiness.  Hope is something that cannot be touched or manufactured.  Hope is not just a feeling.  It is not willpower.  It's faith.  Hebrews 11:1 says "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." It's the faith that you can face whatever comes, whatever happens, whatever doesn't come, whatever doesn't happen, but here's the catch.  You can't face it alone.  Oh no.  You can't.  Oh you can try.  You can put your chin up, strap on your big girl panties and slap a smile on your face.  But it won't last.  Your heart won't last.  Your heart will break into a million little pieces every time you get your period and since you've decided to give it a go alone, no one will know your hurt.  No one will see the wreckage of emotions and thoughts and no one will see the million little pieces of your heart floating away. 

Unless...

Unless you don't do it alone.  Unless you fall into the arms of Jesus.  He will catch you.  He will comfort you with the promises of his word.  He will never fail you.  It will hurt.  It won't feel like you are being caught.  It may feel like you have been failed.  But you haven't.  No, absolutely not.  Funny the way God works.  You don't know you've been carried until you're back on your own two feet.  It's like my favorite poem says...

 

One night a man had a dream.

He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:
one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.

"Lord, You said that once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why, when I needed you most, you would leave me."

The Lord replied,
"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would
never leave you. During your times of trial and
suffering, when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I Carried You."

 

"Footprints" -Unknown

 

Jesus hasn't left me, but I try to take control.  I try to wiggle and kick and scream out of his arms because I CAN DO IT!  I say, "I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN.  I DON'T NEED YOU.  I CAN HANDLE THIS ON MY OWN.  I AM IN CONTROL.  I HAVE TO BE IN CONTROL." 

 

Then reality hits me like a slammed door. 

 

I'm not in control. 

 

I can't wish a baby into my womb. 

 

I can't do it on my own no matter how much my prideful self wants me to. 

 

I can't handle the barrage of emotions crashing around my heart and mind. 

 

I do need Jesus.  I need him in every breath I take. 

 

I would not be married to Tom without God's hand in my life. 

I would not be out of my depression without God's hand in my life. 

I would not be able to handle any of this without Jesus. 

 

He is my rock and loves me at my kicking and screaming worst and died for me at my worst and for my worst.

 

I can only take one step and then another with either him by my side or in his arms.  I seriously would have gone crazy without my faith in Jesus.

 

I'm not owed anything nor am I deserving of anything.  But by the grace of God, I am SO VERY BLESSED.  It's been a hard 18 months and I'm sure we still have a long road ahead with lots of decisions to make.  But God is strengthening me for something greater...for that I am sure. 

 

For right now, I am going to press on -not alone- but with God as my guide and my amazing blessings squeezing in right with me-Tom, my family, my friends, my co-workers and the doctors and get my tests done, medicines taken and continue on the path where God leads. 

 

I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future.   

 

 

Instagood

Instagram has been a huge motivation for me this summer.  Every summer, I go in this dark place where depression and loneliness take over.  I spend most of my days by myself because I really do enjoy being by myself, but it's not healthy. 

 

Thankfully, this summer I've had goals, motivation and have seen progress both mentally and physically. 

 

God has blessed me greatly with meeting some wonderful people on Instagram.  Social media definitely has its downfalls, but it sure helped me not only get through this summer, but to motivate me to be more disciplined with food, exercise and devotions. 

 

This summer hasn't been the easiest with infertility, but being able to shift my focus from constant worry about not having a baby of my own to taking care of my mind, body and soul has made all the difference. 

 

Of course I had amazing support from my family and friends.  So for those of you who were there for me when I was struggling whether it be online or in real life, thank you. 

 

It's almost time for school to start and I've been working hard in my classroom. I'm also starting my 2nd Masters this fall.  It's going to be a whirlwind year, but I am more mentally, spiritually, and physically ready than I ever have been.

July it is!

Oh I have so much to tell you!  It's so good to be writing here again.  I'll start off with some updates.  My migraines have been reduced with the continued implementation of the "Low Tyramine Headache Diet" as well as keeping a consistent sleep schedule.  YEAH!  I'm still dealing with stress and anxiety, but I know that's no way to live and that I need to let go of the control.  I've been seeing my counselor now for almost a year and she has helped me so much.  Love that woman!  Most importantly, I know God has it covered and has a plan for me.  Mmm...God is so good! 

 

This sign hangs in my living room and serves as a much needed daily reminder.  :)

 

As for the baby update, we've been dealing with infertility going on 15 months so we went back to my OB.  Tom had tests done (which was a crazy, awkward situation...lol!  I might tell you about it later)  Then, I had blood work done as well as a sonogram and everything came back just fine.  Woo hoo!  Praise the Lord!  Since everything came back normal, my OB put me on Clomid.  From what I understand, it tells your brain to tell your body to ovulate.  It does increase your odds of having multiples by 8%, but we would be good with twins.  You take the Clomid pill days 5-9 of your cycle and then wait.  Today was my last dose for this cycle.  I kept hearing all about these horrible side effects, but I had no negative side effects.  If anything, I felt better!  If I don't ovulate this month, I'll take a higher dose the next cycle and then one more time if I still don't ovulate.  After three months of increasing doses, my OB will take me off.  Hopefully, though, it will work! 

 

So, you're probably wondering why I've titled this post "July it is!" Well, let me tell you...I've decided July is a great month for me to refocus and concentrate on my goals because I have the whole month off with no big commitments.  I can focus on my faith, health and well being to make my body the best place for a baby to grow.  I've changed my eating habits slowly, but surely.   Fruits have always been easy for me to incorporate into my diet.  I eat veggies most every lunch and dinner.  Milk is always a standard at the dinner table and I stay away from liquid calories (soda, alcohol, coffee, etc.)  When I cook at home I always use olive oils instead of vegetable oils, don't fry food and rarely bake sweets.  I've been taking Rex for a walk twice a day each day, doing weights at the gym twice a week, and Tom and I started a Couch to 5K program, which has us training times a week. 

Here's a pic that captures our true feelings about running...hehe.

 

 

My issue is snacking, eating out and portion control.  So I pledged to take a picture of EVERYTHING I eat and post it on Instagram (follow me on Instagram @spicycurrie83) for a whole month.  I'm on day 13 and WOW!  It has really kept me accountable! 

 

Also, I've been tracking my food on the Loseit app.  I've been making a big effort to stay within my daily calorie budget and so far, in the last month I've lost 7 pounds!   Here's a progress pic from 2010 to present.  That's a 27 pound difference, folks! 

Another wake up call was reading the book, Wheat Belly.  I've been avoiding wheat (not completely, but making better choices ex: eating fajitas with a fork instead of putting them in a flour tortilla)  It's a very interesting read.  Check it out!  Well, I think that's the extent of my updates!  I hope you are doing great and are loving life!  Happy July! 

Remember, today is the FIRST day of the REST of your LIFE! 

Diagnosis: Infertility

Oh that stings.  Just seeing those words next to my name give me a stomach ache, but those words are true.  It's officially been over a year and no baby.  I've been putting off writing a blog post for a few months now because, well, I kept holding out that I would be able to share some great news with you all.  However, now that it's real I feel I need to write and get these feelings out of my system.  It's amazing how much I take for granted.  It's horribly amazing as well that you can have everything in the world that you would want or need except for one thing and that one thing can darken everything else good.  I don't want that to happen to me.  Well, let's face it...I already have allowed my inability to have a child over shadow a lot of happiness in my life.  I have a God who loves me despite my failings, a fantastic husband, a supportive family, dependable friendships, a rewarding career, a lovely home and a reliable car...I could go on and on with the blessings in my life.  My migraines have also lessened to an average of 3-4 a month!!!  Wow!  That's a 66% reduction!  Now that's something to cheer about!  I also know that God has a plan.  I know that if we are to have a baby, we will and it will come at the right time.  It doesn't make me crave that control any less though.  I still want to be in charge of my life, but why wouldn't I want the creator of the universe to be in charge of my life?!  Because I'm human and I think I know best.  Well, I'm slowly learning that I don't, which is a hard lesson, but a valuable one. 

Anyway, let me fill you in on the next steps.  I went to my gynecologist's office for a "I'm not getting pregnant" talk.  She was of course wonderful, encouraging, knowledgeable and supportive.  I left there feeling hopeful.  I had to get blood work done to check on my hormones, etc.  Also, hubby needed to get a semen analysis...fun stuff let me tell you.  Lastly, I will need to get a sonogram when we get the results from all of the tests.  It sounds as though most likely I am not ovulating as I should be because I've taken two months of ovulation predictors and a little happy face never showed up in the test window.  If that is indeed the case and the only issue, then I will possibly go on Clomid, which tells your brain to ovulate.  Then wham bam, thank you maam we should be good to go (if that's the only issue).  We are currently waiting for hubby's test results.  My blood work came back fine (whew, what a relief!) so we will set up a follow up appointment for my sono and to discuss options whenever we get his results back.  It's been quite the journey already dealing with people who are well meaning, but ask when we are going to start a family.  I am usually quite blunt with them and say, "Yes, we would love kids and have been trying for over a year.  Thanks for asking!"  This really ends the conversation for the most part.  I have been told some very hurtful things though. 

 

"Just have a baby, Laura.  It's not that hard."

and

"You are going to be old and decrepit by the time you have a baby."

 

It really doesn't help the process to hear these comments, because well, it is apparently hard for me and I am only 30 so I do have child bearing years left.  Both of these comments were made by people who love me and I'm sure had no idea they were hurting me.  So in the mean time, I am trying to stay positive and hopeful and try not think about conceiving.  God is in control and I'd be at a whole lot more peace if I just let it go.  That's where we are and I know God has a plan and I know it's a whole lot better than I could ever imagine.  <3

9 Tried & True Crock Pot Freezer Meals

Here is a collection of crock pot freezer meals that are tried and true for me.  They are easy to prepare and the ingredients are reasonably priced for the most part.  Most of them serve around 4.  The soups serve more like 6-8.  Most of the recipes can be cooked for much longer than the suggested time.  Most days it ends up cooking for about 10 hours on low just because of our schedules.  I really don't know where I found these recipes and most have been tweaked.  Enjoy!

Serrano Pork Tacos with a side of brown rice

Serrano Pork Tacos

3-4 pound pork roast or loin cut into chunks

2 onions

6 tbsp canola oil

2-4 serrano chillies

3 garlic cloves

salt and pepper to taste

2 c. water

Divide all ingredients into two bags, label and freeze.

Thaw in refridgerator the night before and then dump all ingredients into crock pot.  Cook on low 8 hours.  Serve in taco shells or tortillas with toppings of your choice.

 

Chicken Tortilla Soup

Ingredients:
4 cups shredded, cooked chicken
2 (15 ounce) can whole peeled tomatoes,
mashed(you can do this with a potato masher right in the bag, be careful that you don’t break the bag)
1 large can rosarita red/mild enchilada sauce
2 medium onion, chopped(about 1 cup)
2 (4 ounce) cans chopped green chiles
4 cloves garlic, minced or 4 tsp. minced garlic
2 cans chicken broth
2 teaspoon cumin
2 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/4-1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 can corn
1-2 tablespoon chopped cilantro
6 chicken bouillon cubes
1 can black beans
Split the above between two gallon freezer bags and remove as much air as possible seal and then double bag into another freezer bag.
Freeze
When ready to enjoy place in fridge to thaw the day before. Pour into crockpot add an additional 1 cup water to crockpot. Cook on low 6-8 hours or high 4-6 hours.

Chicken Noodle Soup

Makes 2(4-6 serving dinners)

Ingredients:

3-4 cups chicken cooked and cubed

2 cups sliced carrots

2 cups celery, sliced

2 cups onions, diced

3 tsp. poultry seasoning

4 cloves garlic, (or 4 tsp).minced

12 chicken bouillon cubes

2 cans chicken broth

Split the above between two gallon ziplock bags,remove as much air as possible and seal.

Also needed: 2 cups uncooked egg noodles

Tape one bag of uncooked egg noodles onto each filled gallon bag.  Freeze.

When ready to place in crockpot take out the soup mixture and add 6-7 cup water directly to the bag, Pour into crockpot and cook on low for 5-6 hours or High 3-4 hours. (Low is best and can be cooked longer than 6 hours if needed. Reserve Noddles in freezer.  Place noodles in soup 30 minutes before serving.

 

Ranch Chicken

4 whole boneless, skinless chicken breasts

1 dry packet ranch dressing mix

Add ingredients to ziplock bag, label and freeze.

Preparation:  Thaw the night before in refridgerator and place in your slow cooker with about 1 C of Water or Chicken broth for 3-4 hours on High, or 4-5 Hours on Low. Serve whole or chop up for tacos or sandwiches.

 

Pulled Chicken

1 1/2 BBQ sauce

3 whole boneless, skinless chicken breasts.

Combine in ziplock bag, label and freeze.

Thaw the night before in refridgerator and place in your slow cooker with about 1/4 C of water for 3-4 Hours on High. Shred chicken and mix back in with sauce, serve on crusty rolls with a slice of cheese. This recipe is also pretty flexible and can be baked or grilled if you don’t want to slow cook.

 

Italian Chicken

4 whole bonless skinless chicken breasts

1 1/2 c. italian dressing

Add ingredients to ziplock bag, label and freeze.

Place in refridgerator the night before and dump into your slow cooker with about 1/2 – 1 C of water or Chicken broth for 3-4 hours on high or 4-5 hours on low.

 

Beef Fajitas

1-2 lbs. flank steak

1 medium onion chopped

1 medium green pepper chopped

1 packet fajita mix

1 can Rotel tomatoes and chilies

Add all ingredients to ziplock bag, label and freeze. 

Thaw the night before in refridgerator, dump in crockpot and cook 4-5 hours on low.

 

Tortellini Soup

1 Medium Green Bell Pepper, Chopped
1 Cup Yellow Onion, Chopped
2 Teaspoons Minced Garlic
2 Tablespoons Tomato Paste
1 (8 Oz.) Can Tomato Sauce
2 (14.5 Oz.) Cans Crushed Tomatoes
1 Teaspoon Dried Oregano
1 Teaspoon Dried Basil
2 (14 Oz.) Cans Chicken Broth
1 chicken boullion cube

Place above in gallon ziplock bag and remove air and seal.

Tape 1 frozen meat tortellini package to the filled gallon bag.  Freeze.

Thaw in refridgerator the night before. Place soup and one cup water in crockpot cook on
low 5-6 hours. Put in tortellini 30 minutes before cooking time is complete.






Chicken Fajitas

3 whole boneless, skinless chicken breast, sliced into strips

1 medium onion sliced

1 medium green pepper sliced

1 can Rotel tomatoes and green chilies

1 packet fajita seasoning

Add all ingredients to the ziplock bag, label and freeze.  To prepare, thaw the night before in refridgerator and dump into the crockpot – cover and cook 4-5 hours on low

Progress

Progress is possible and it's here.   

In the month of February I only had one migraine.  Incredible.  I feel like a new woman.  It's very exciting!!  The only drawback is the diet I have to maintain in order to keep these migraines away.  It's not that hard, but I am definitely experiencing some serious cravings.  The foods I crave the most are any foods with cheese, oranges, and sausage.  Lasagna, mozzerella sticks, orange juice, and pizza...mmm. Since I can't have the things I really want, I keep eating and eating in hopes to quell my cravings.  It doesn't work and as a result I've gained four pounds since the beginning of 2013.  This is unacceptable and I won't go back to where I was.  I know four pounds doesn't sound like much, but if this goes on, it's not going to be pretty.  

I have to take care of myself.  I've signed up for a personal trainer session at my gym to keep myself accountable with a program.  Also, I've been making crock pot freezer meals that are healthy and then I add a veggie with dinner.  The girl scout cookies have been waaaaay tempting so I'm allowing myself no more than two at a time.  Hopefully this will help me keep a healthy lifestyle.  We'll see.  I'll post the crock pot recipes I've tried next.

 

18 days of freedom

Today marks the 18th day of no migraines.  I really didn't think I would ever say (or type) that sentence.  Incredible.  Now I just have to make sure to appreciate every day and not take my pain free days for granted.  It's difficult to do because everything else in life keeps on going and I had this idea that everything would be wonderful if I had a life free of migraines.  Well, I do have a very blessed life, but there are still rough days and sad days and of course days filled with pure joy.  I go to the Migraine Clinic this week and as I am getting my records, charts and paperwork together, I can't help but wonder what is keeping them away.  Is it because I'm there's no cheese in my diet?  No pineapple?  No nuts? No oranges?  No soy sauce?  No leftovers more than 48 hours old? No processed meats? Or is it because I've started taking magneseum supplements or B2 daily?  Is it because I'm keeping a strict sleep schedule?  Is it because of my counseling sessions where I'm learning relaxation techniques as well as stress management skills?  Or is it because God has used all of these things to answer the prayers of countless friends, family members, co-workers, and strangers?  Ultimately, I know God is in control and He is using these migraines or lack there of to glorify Him and help me understand that it's not of my own strength that these migraines can go away, but of Him alone.  He is faithful and so loving even when I am in the depths of despair and pain.  He is there.  He will never leave me or forsake me.  Even if the migraines return and stay with me it will be okay.  I have the promise that one day I won't have to worry about migraines because I will get to spend eternity in Heaven with Him with a perfect body.  I'm not talking about a bikini body here.  I'm saying there will be no tears, no sins, no pain, no suffering.  My salvation is in Christ Jesus alone, not by works, but through faith.  My memory verse for the week speaks for itself.  For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23.  It's free for the taking if we only choose to accept it.  Not only did Jesus free us from our sins, with His sacrafice of death on a cross for us, but He goes above and beyond to give us eternal life in Heaven with Him.  It really doesn't get any better than that. I will keep you updated on my progress and if I learn anything new at my appointment this week.  Love and blessings to you <3

500 miles, a baby and no numbers

That's right.  Those are my goals for the new year. 

*500 miles of walking, running, biking, or elipticaling (verb??)
*Get pregnant
*No scale watching or measuring (until I get pregnant) because I've had it with the daily/weekly ups and downs...if I can continue to feel comfortable in my size 12's I will be happy. 

I'd also love to get rid of my migraines completely, so I will keep following doctor's orders. 

I had a total of 98 migraines in 2012.  That is CRAZY!  Completely shocked by that number when I actually added it up.  I will do just about anything to get rid of even some of these migraines.  Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could even cut that number in half?  It would be life changing. 

Well, here's to an even better year ahead!

Laura's No No Food List (per dr's orders)

Laura's No No Food List from the Headache Clinic
(for the prevention of migraines)

**Some are easier to avoid than others as you will see ;)

Bacon (sadness)
Sausage
Hot dogs
Corned Beef
Bologna
Ham (sniffle)
Lunch meats with nitrates and nitrites
Meat with tenderizer added
Caviar (no issues here)
Aged, dried, fermented, salted, smoked, or pickled products
Liverwurst
Pepperoni
Salami
Non-fresh meat (yeah, think I'm avoiding that anyway)
Liver
Pickled herring
Aged cheese: blue, brick, brie, cheddar, swiss, roquefort, stilton, mozzarella, colby jack, pepper jack, provolone, emmentaler
Fava or broad beans
Sauerkraut
Pickles
Olives
Fermented products like miso, soy sauce and teriyaki sauce
Raw onion
Sourdough breads
Home-made yeast leavened breads
Hardest for me----->No more than 1/2 cup a day of orange, grapefruit, tangerine, pineapple, lemon, lime, avocados, banana, figs, raisins, dried fruit, papaya, passion fruit, red plums
All nuts and seeds
Canned soups with autolyzed or hydrolyzed yeast
Chianti, Sherry, burgundy, vermouth, ale, beer, non alcoholic fermented beverages
Limit of 2 servings a day of caffeinated beverages
Limit of 1 serving a day of non-listed alcoholic beverages
Mincemeat pie
MSG
Seasoned salt
Meat extracts
Meat tenderizers
Brewers yeast
Nitrites
Nitrates
Yeast extracts
Wine, apple, or other fermented vinegars
Limit 1 cup chocolate based products (ice cream, pudding), 1 chocolate cookie, 3" chocolate cake, 1/2 oz. chocolate candies

**Very thankful I can still have chocolate and really it will be great for me to have a limit on it, especially with the holidays.  :)

Headache Clinic Visit

It's been a whirlwind week.  Last Monday night/Tuesday evening I felt the start of a migraine so I took my rescue meds.  Four hours later, I woke up to the room spinning.  It didn't stop until I had taken a few doses of my motion sickness medication my dr. prescribed to me.  I had the same thing happen to me last January.  Then, I finally was able to drive, bend down and go from sitting to standing with some normalcy, so I got to go back to work on Thursday.  I taught some very rambunctious kiddos, attended an IEP meeting, hurried home to grab my hubby and our bags, and we were on the road to the headache clinic by 4:30.  My appointment was Friday morning and the doctor was fantastic.  He is a fellow migraine sufferer, which is why he started his practice to help others who suffer from migraines.  Here's a synopsis of my appointment:

• Migraine is a chronic disease (since I have most likely inherited them and didn't experience a head trauma)
• I will probably always be predisposed to migraines, but there are things I can do to prevent them
• Stress is a huge migraine trigger (In fact, he asked me if I was a special ed teacher and I said no, but I have students with special needs in my classroom.  He said that made sense because many special ed teachers suffer from migraines due to the stress of the job.) 
• Weather and barometric pressure are huge migraine triggers (can't do much about that)
• Irratic sleep schedules trigger migraines
• When I get pregnant, my migraines will likely improve or go away (new plan-keep having babies for as long as possible...j/k)
• He will put me on preventative medications and additional supplements after I have had a child and am done nursing
• B2 and Magnesium are helpful in the prevention of migraines (tried magnesium in the past, but not a high enough dosage)
• Low-tyramine diets are helpful in the prevention of migraines
• Over-exertion is a trigger of migraines
• Let down migraines are a real phenomenon in the migraine world (I am most likely to get migraines after a stressful week and I can finally relax i.e. Friday night, Christmas break, etc.)
• Relaxation techniques are very important in the prevention and management of migraines (I just started this with my counselor in an effort to reduce and/or cope with stress)
• Exercising at a moderate level 3-4 days/week will help with the prevention of migraines and stress
• Avoid eating high sugar food on an empty stomach, when excessively hungry, or in place of a meal
• All food, especially high protein foods, should be prepared and eaten fresh
• Be cautious of leftovers held for more than one or two days at refridgerator temperature
• Freeze leftovers that you want to store for more than 2 or 3 days
• Stay away from cigarette or cigar smoke because they contain a multitude of chemicals that will trigger or aggravate your migraine
• Each day eat three meals with a snack at night or six small meals spread throughout the day
• An MRI is scheduled locally later this month to rule out additional complications
• A follow up visit is scheduled after the first of the year

My assignments for the next 6 weeks:

1. Keep a very detailed calendar and diary of my meals, snacks, beverages, exercise, emotions, medications, migraines, etc.
2. Implement a strict sleep schedule of going to bed and waking at the same time every single day
3. Exercise moderately 3-4 days a week
4. Take B2 and magnesium supplements
5. Practice relaxation techniques
6. Reduce stress as much as possible
7. Follow the low-tyramine diet and avoid migraine "trigger foods"

I developed a migraine at church today and it kicked my butt.  I slept this afternoon and am just now starting to feel recovered.  It will be wonderful if all these things help to truly prevent my migraines.  Prayers are still appreciated.  Thanks for sticking with me and living life with me through my blogging.

Painting it Forward #5

This will be my fifth "Painting it Forward" bidding event.   So far, $75 has been donated to charities through these events.  Wow!  Thanks to all who have placed a bid and helped a cause! 

Since the first four paintings were a success, I've decided to put another piece up for auction.  I've had requests for this painting to be the next one to bid on so here's your chance to have your very own original and support your favorite cause at the same time!

The name of this painting is "The Lorax's Truffula Trees".  This is an original painting by me on canvas using acrylic paints.  The dimensions are: 8 x 10.  Frame is not included. 

Estimated value is $14.

In case you missed my post about "Painting it Forward", you can read all about how I came up with the idea here. 

The bidding on this painting will start at $1.  The bidding will begin at 7:00pm Thursday night (12/6/12) and last for 48 hours on Facebook.  The bidding will close at 7:00pm on Sunday (12/8/12).  You may bid at anytime during this 48 hour period, but the amount must exceed the previous bid.  At the end of that time period, the person with the largest bid will get to keep the painting and will also get to choose a charity for the net profits to go towards.  If you are not Facebook friends with me and would like to bid, you may comment below with the amount you would like to bid.  If yours is highest, then you win the painting and the net proceeds will go to the charity of your choice.  Checks will be made out to me and I will then donate the net profits to the charity of your choice.  A receipt of your donation will be mailed to you along with the painting.

Questions?  Ask away! 

Happy bidding and thanks so much for supporting me in this venture!  Good luck!

A Day of Firsts

It's my day off!  So of course I want to make the best of it.  After sleeping in a little, I rolled out of bed and started in on some baking and cooking. 

First up: Tonight's dinner prep for Homemade Chicken Alfredo Roll Ups so I simmered up some homemade alfredo sauce & sauted some chicken.  This is what it will look like in just a couple hours...mmm.

Now onto my "firsts"...

I got to try out a new Pinterest recipe called Pumpkin Chocolate Chip cookies.  I've never tried to make any kind of pumpkin cookie before.  Pretty easy and healthy as far as cookies go.  Bonus: They are delicious! 

Combine:
1 c. canned pumpkin
1. c. sugar
1/2 c. applesauce
1 egg
1 tsp. vanilla

In seperate bowl, mix:
2 c. flour
2 tsp. cinnamon
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. pumpkin pie spice

**Dissolve 1 tsp. baking soda in 1 tsp. milk and stir into wet mix. 

Add dry mixture to wet and mix well.

Add 1.5 c. chocolate chips.  Drop by spoonful on greased cookie sheet and bake at 365 for 10-11 min.
Note:  These are cakelike cookies and will be soft inside.

My second "first" of the day was making my own bread from scratch.  

My co-worker friend gave me a super easy recipe for crock pot bread.  I was really excited to try it out and today was the perfect day.  Plus, now I get to cross off another item from my 30 before 30 list.  YAY!

My third "first" of the day was what I ate for lunch. 

Ironically, with all my baking and cooking I didn't make myself lunch.  My partner teacher gave me a coupon for a free chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-a and since I had yet to go today was a perfect day to try it out.  I'm happy to say it was a success and I would definitely go back.

New Art

I've decided to do some of my favorite things to de-stress.  Painting is definitely one of my favorite things to do so I whipped out my painting supplies and dove into all those beautiful colors.

Here is Tom's favorite, which he thinks looks like the Truffula Trees from The Lorax by Dr. Seuss.  I hadn't thought of them as that, but I can totally see the resemblance.  

 

 "The Lorax's Truffula Trees"

$14

I've been doing a lot of praying through the Proverbs and this is one that has touched my heart the most.  Painting words proved to be tricky, but it was a good challenge for me.

"Trust"

$15

If you would lke to have either one for your very own, please leave a comment below or comment on my Facebook page.

I hope you enjoy these as much as I do.

Painting it Forward #4

This will be my fourth "Painting it Forward" bidding event.   So far, $60 has been donated to charities through these events.  Thanks to all who have placed a bid and helped a cause! 

Since the first three paintings were a success, I've decided to put another piece up for auction.  I've had requests for this painting to be the next one to bid on so here's your chance to have your very own and support your favorite cause at the same time!

The name of this painting is "Provision".  This is an original painting by me on canvas using acrylic paints and inspired by the colors of the season.  The dimensions are: 8 x 10.  Frame is not included. 

Estimated value is $18.

In case you missed my post about "Painting it Forward", you can read all about how I came up with the idea here. 

The bidding on this painting will start at $1.  The bidding will begin at 7:00pm tomorrow night (11/16/12) and last for 48 hours on Facebook.  The bidding will close at 7:00pm on Sunday (11/18/12).  You may bid at anytime during this 48 hour period, but the amount must exceed the previous bid.  At the end of that time period, the person with the largest bid will get to keep the painting and will also get to choose a charity for the net profits to go towards.  If you are not Facebook friends with me and would like to bid, you may comment below with the amount you would like to bid.  If yours is highest, then you win the painting and the net proceeds will go to the charity of your choice.  Checks will be made out to me and I will then donate the net profits to the charity of your choice.  A receipt of your donation will be mailed to you along with the painting.

Questions?  Ask away! 

Happy bidding and thanks so much for supporting me in this venture!  Good luck!

Stress much?

Yes. 

The answer is yes. 

I have allowed myself to get so overwhelmed with life that it has negatively affected my health, both mentally and physically. 

I have started counseling.  I have been to the E.R.  I have seen my doctor. 

Migraines, liver lesions, female issues, not getting pregnant, anxiety, depression.

The common thread...stress.

It's time.  It's time to take care of me.  I have to take care of me before I can even begin to take care of others.

So I need to take some time to figure out exactly what I'm going to do and how I'm going to cope.

I have to let others help me and understand that I do deserve to get help.

I do not understand why I am going through this or how I'm going to get through this, but I am comforted by this truth...

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. 
-Proverbs 3:5

Liver Ultrasound Results

I heard from the doctor's office today and after much calling and them returning my calls and then me calling back, etc. etc. I finally got the results from my ultrasound.  I have multiple benign lesions on my liver.  I asked what that really meant and they didn't give me a clear answer except that there's damage from excessive toxins in my body, possibly from medications I have taken.  My friend looked it up online for me and found that it won't effect pregnancy so praise the Lord for that.  I'm supposed to get bloodwork again in 2 months.  If it still comes back elevated, then they will do another ultrasound to monitor the lesions. 

I also asked the nurse what could be done about the 10 migraines I've had in the past 20 days.  I would really like to be referred to a migraine specialist or clinic for treatment because this is getting absolutely rediculous.  My body feels like its been run over by a truck trying to fight and then recover from these migraines.  I am supposed to get a call back on that tomorrow.  So that's the deal right now. 

Despite these health concerns, I am still incredibly blessed.  I have countless blessings raining down on me constantly and I need to remember how blessed I truly am to have a caring husband, God-centered church, loving family, cozy house, reliable job, supportive co-workers, dependable friends, a body that can run and jump and move, and much, much more.  Thank you Lord for your love and mercy and grace that you pour upon me every single day even when I don't deserve it.

Liver, behave yourself.

This past August, I got my regular blood work done and everything came back with flying colors except my liver function was elevated.  I didn't think much of it, which is very uncharacteristic of me.  Normally, I worry at every chance I get.  I was told to come back within 6-8 weeks.  So Tom reminded me to get an appointment and I just kept thinking oh it's going to be fine.  Once again, no worries here.  Well I got a call a last week saying that my liver levels are still elevated (Bilirubin is what is elevated for those of you in the medical field) and I would need a liver ultrasound.  WHAT??  Worrying whirred into high gear at this point.  So I promptly "Googled" elevated Bilirubin levels.  POOR CHOICE.  Do not.  I repeat DO NOT Google elevated Bilirubin levels.  So my ultrasound was scheduled for this past Thursday.  I was instructed not to eat or drink anything after midnight so when I awoke at 2:30am with the start of a migraine I groaned and rolled over to awake again 4 hours later with a full blown migraine.  Crap.  Too bad I'm such a rule follower.  Also, I was afraid that I would have to reschedule another sick day to redo the ultrasound if I drank water and took my pill.  So I suffered through.  My grandma took me to the hospital for the test and was able to finally take my medication around 10:30.  The migraine kicked my butt and I slept most of the day.  Praise the Lord that I didn't just take a half day because there was no way I would be able to keep up with 25 students while recovering from one of these things.

These past weeks have been full of migraine horribleness.  I've had 9 migraines in the past 19 days.  Oh my goodness.  I finally broke down Friday night and wondered if we should stop trying to get pregnant for a while because I am so stressed out and my liver is not functioning and I keep getting these migraines.  What would I do if I couldn't take my medication and I keep having these migraines even when I'm pregnant?  I won't be able to work.  I won't be able to fuction.  So many worries going around in my mind.  Ugh.  I'm sorry this is a negative post, but it's the truth and I want to be completely honest. 

So I'm supposed to get my results from the ultrasound tomorrow.  Prayers that it is just elevated from the excess of medication I have had to take for these migraines.  Only time will tell. 

Breaking up with Imitrex

6.  Not a bad number for the month.  Especially when you consider the months prior.  However, when 5 of the 6 migraines have occured in the past 10 days, and when they have lingered for hours on end despite copious amounts of medication, it's no good.  It kind of makes me want to type things of an unlady-like nature, but I digress. 

Earlier today, in the wee hours of the morning (2:30am) I took my Imitrex and woke up to my alarm (is it always that loud???) four hours later at 6:30.  Now, usually I am pretty much pain free four hours post medication. 

However, I'm pretty sure my body broke up with Imitrex this morning and the conversation went a little like this..."Enough is enough!  I'm done with you making me feel like crap.  I'm done with you making me dizzy, nauceous, foggy, numb, sore and you make me have to pee constantly...plus I don't just have to deal with your side effects every once in a while, it's multiple times a week.  It's over.  Oh and another thing...you take your pretty little time to work.  I can see taking an hour, maybe even two, but six, eight or even ten hours later you still haven't done what you're supposed to do??  After 10 years of commitment this is how you treat me?  Rediculous."  Yeah, it was a pretty stressful break-up.

I really wish my body would call it quits with my migraines, but they seem to have quite the attachment to one another in spite of their unhealthy relationship.

So I called my doctor's office and they put me on Maxalt instead of Imitrex.  That's the good news!  Here's the not so good news...when I was on the phone with my doctor's office, I asked about my bloodwork from a couple weeks ago.  They had to redo my bloodwork for liver function because back in August at my annual check-up my liver function was elevated.  They assumed it was a result of my Imitrex use, but retested again and it's still elevated.  Therefore, they are sending me to get an ultrasound on my liver.  I tried to research it but it only freaked me out so I had to stop.  Prayers for the whole thing to be just a fluke and nothing big.

Recipes Galore!

Last night I took some time to link up all of the recipes I have posted in my blog.  So if you look up and to the right, you will see a tab labeled "Recipes".  All of my recipes are listed in alphabetical order for my readers.  I hope this makes your life easier and maybe you can find a new recipe to try out for dinner tonight!  Currently there are 59 indexed. I will be adding more links as I blog about more recipes. 

Enjoy!

Out of all of the recipes I've tried this year, Creamy Shrimp and Mushroom Pasta is my favorite!



Back in the saddle

So I have fallen off the proverbial horse these past couple of months.  I've gained 2 pounds back, which puts me at a total 28 pound loss for the year.  Don't get me wrong, I am EXTREMELY happy with that weight loss, but at the rate I'm going it won't stay off for long.  I'm actually surprised that I haven't gained back more because I've been eating pretty much whatever I want (thankfully what I want still consists of strawberries, raspberries, spinach salads, sugar snap peas, milk, oatmeal and flax seed).  However, I also want Oreos, pumpkin bread, pasta, and ice cream sandwiches, especially now that I've found out that food isn't my main migraine trigger.  Those foods in excess combined with little exercise would be the 2 lb. weight gain culprits.  Since my 10K over a month ago I have exercised a total of 4 times.  IT IS TIME.  So this morning I got up early, went to the gym and swam laps for a half hour.  Whew.  I am beat and have SO much respect for swimmers.  I really miss running too.  I miss being sweaty from a good workout.  However, I've only had 4 migraines this month.  I'm really thinking my migraines are sometimes triggered from heart rate elevation.  Three of the migraines were this week...boo!  I woke up all three times with serious jaw pain and sore neck and shoulder muscles.  They were so tight that they were twitching...no fun.  So I went to my TMJD doctor and he treated me.  Thank goodness.  The nurses there lifted up my hair and said, "Whoa, the back of your neck is so swollen!" That was before I even had a chance to tell them how much pain I was in.  Now I am supposed to take Ibuprofen every 6 hours for 3-4 days to reduce the swelling.  "Have you been under a lot of stress, Laura?",  they ask.  They know me so well there.  Apparently, stress creates tense muscles as well as teeth grinding and ultimately, migraines.  Fun stuff.  So I need to work on more exercise, better food choices, and less stress.  I think that is America in a nutshell.  At least I'm not alone.  Seriously though, it's so important to be proactive about my health.  Exercise produces endorphins which help with energy and stress levels.  Also, food plays a HUGE role in whole body wellness.  If you eat crap, you will most likely feel like crap, and feeling like crap is stressful.  So if I eat well and exercise frequently maybe, just maybe my stress level will decrease and so will my migraines.  Worth a shot.  I just need to get in the right frame of mind.  Let's do this!