My Weight Loss Journey

My journey begins as many of your journeys begin.  You have a serious love of some food and a utter hate of others.  Well, as I got older, I loved more and more different types of food.  My favorite was strawberries!  Oh strawberries, I still love you!  But I also loved chocolate cake.  Oh chocolate cake and I still have a relationship, but it's more of a love/hate one now.  I ate hearty meals always with veggies and fruits, but I also had seconds or thirds of potatoes, meatloaf, spaghetti, fried fish, mac n' cheese, ice cream, etc.  I was still a normal sized kid though.  I exercised a lot taking swim lessons, riding my bike, playing catch, etc.  It wasn't until I got a little older that food became a comfort to me. 

Here I am with my cousin at age 8.

My childhood was wonderful with my mom.  We played games, listened to the country music station, went for walks, read books, went to the park, the library, the zoo and talked for hours.  My dad on the other hand just simply didn't know how to be a dad.  He scared me.  He had mood swings and wouldn't talk to me or my mom for weeks at a time.  He had rules-no touching the walls and you can't walk on the grass.  He would yell and yell and yell horrible things and call my mom terrible names.  He wouldn't allow her to drive out of our town and if she did, he would scream and yell and curse.  I dreaded seeing his truck turn the corner onto our street.  I remember coming home every day from school in middle school and eating the leftovers from the night before and then eating dinner shortly after.  That was the start of my weight gain.  Now I don't blame my dad for my weight issues.  It's just life.  It happens and we all have things that have hurt us and we all have ways of dealing with the hurt.  Some people deal with it by putting others down, others by excessive exercising, others with alcohol, some with drugs, and some with food as well as a host of other things.  Depression had a hold on me and stemmed from my self esteem issues.  Food was how I "dealt" with my depression, Everything was okay as long as I had food in my mouth. 

5th Grade Age 11

 

One day I was in middle school sitting on the doctor's exam table.  I remember that day clearly when he told me, "Laura, you are overweight."   In 6th grade, I was called "The Pillsbury Dough Girl" and boys would poke my stomach.  Food called me to me and I answered.  I was sad and hurt and struggling with self esteem.  Food made me feel better for a minute and a minute counted in my book. 

Age 15...that's me in the middle.  At my tennis playing weight.

Thankfully, I started playing tennis in junior high and then got on the high school varsity team so the pounds melted off and my self-esteem began to climb.  At 5' 8" I was 148 pounds sophomore year of high school.  No skinny mini, but I was healthy and happy for the most part.

So, I went off to college and  gained the freshman 15...20...25...30...35...40...45 and by the end of my junior year, I was at 193.  Whoa.  How does this happen?  Well, I dealt with depression and depression tastes much better with a side of mozzarella sticks and Blizzards.  I didn't exercise and I was so terribly unhealthy.

 

College

So I started Weight Watchers and Richard Simmon's workouts.  I lost 40 pounds!  I felt AMAZING!

Here I am in my little size 10 dress at around 155 pounds at age 22.

Only problem?  I couldn't maintain it so the weight started creeping back.  This time I ended up at 194 before realizing this had to stop so I started Weight Watchers Online.  I lost 40 pounds AGAIN and guess what??  It felt AMAZING...but once again, I couldn't maintain so it all came back on again.  And my boyfriend of three years told me I was too fat to ever marry him. Yeah, I broke up with him.  Once again, food was my comfort.

I'm on the right.  Age 25 Size 14/16

Finally, I tipped the scales at 198.  There was no way I was going to let myself get over 200 so back I went to Weight Watchers and attended the meetings.  That same 40 pounds came off and the pattern continued.  Then I broke my foot and was laid up teaching from a wheel chair for 3 months.  My end weight after getting out of the wheel chair was 217 and I was obese and unhealthy.  It was awful.  Nothing fit, I had no energy. Depression hit and so did the comfort food.

Here I am at my heaviest weight...217. Definitely obese and unhealthy.

 Tom stuck with me through out the whole ordeal and proposed a few months after I got out of the wheel chair so my motivation was to lose weight for our wedding. 

Here's one of our engagement pics at 217 pounds.
 

I ended up with a size 18 dress and they had to take it in quite a bit.  I lost 15 pounds before our wedding with  at home DVDs and being mindful of my portions.  YAY! 

Here we are on our wedding day...I felt beautiful.  It was truly the first time I felt beautiful when I was overweight.

 

After we got married, I started to really like to cook and bake and gained back the weight.  But then avoided inflammatory foods, started a couch to 5K running program and lost 34 pounds.

Here's a pic from July, 2012 getting ready for my first 5K (183 lbs.) on the left and my first weight training in March of 2013 (196 lbs.) on the right.

 Over the past year and a half I've lost and gained, lost and gained, but am down 36 pounds from my highest weight. 

My goal weight is in the 160's.  So I'm still about 20 pounds away, but even if I don't get there, it's okay because ultimately, I want to be healthy and strong. 

PROOF THAT WEIGHT LIFTING DOESN'T MAKE YOU HUGE!  IT TONES BABY! :)

Nov. 1. 2013 -Dec. 16, 2013.  No weight change, 181 lbs. in both pics, but my fat melted and muscle grew.  This was the result of meal planning and weights.  If you want to follow my journey on Instagram my user name is spicyfitlaura.

 

Oh and don't always go by the scale either.  What you eat matters and whether or not you move your body matters.  Muscle weighs way more than fat.  The scale is not always an accurate measurement as evidenced below.

This is a close up of me at 190 at age 20 and me at 190 at age 30.

Size 16 vs. Size 12

 

 

I am scared to get diabetes, I am scared to have heart disease, cancer or a stroke.  I want to do everything I can to keep my body, mind and soul healthy.  I want to be able to lift a gallon of milk out of the back of my car and not strain.  I want to be able to carry my 50 lb. dog if I need to.  I want to be able to run and jump and kick and move! 

Most importantly, I want my body to be a safe place for a baby to grow someday.  If I can do that, then I'm a happy and thankful girl.