All these posts and blogs about resolutions have spurred some wonderings in me. Over my last 30 years I've gotten to know myself pretty well. Part of me wishes I could make goals like normal people do...lose 30 pounds, go without sweets, workout 5 days a week every single week, or get pregnant and know that I will succeed in those goals. But I know I won't. I'm not normal. I'm a special kind of crazy. Yes, I know how that sounds. There's no doubting it though. Those above are goals I've made for myself in the past. Many times actually. I've even been able to stick with them for long lengths of time. When goal setting, one issue for me lies in maintenance. Just because a goal is set and attained, this doesn't mean the goal goes away...a new goal slides into place or it must continue. For instance, I've lost 30 pounds five separate times in my adult life. Yes FIVE. Now there are two ways to look at this. 1) I achieved my weight loss goal five times! Whoo hoo! Way to go! 2) I did five times as much work as I would have needed to and put my body through a lot of unnecessary stress. Had I maintained my goal at age 21 when I lost the weight the first time, I wouldn't have had to deal with the last 9 years of yo-yo weight loss and weight gain. A second roadblock in goal setting is attainability. Are the aforementioned goals attainable for me? Well, yes I could probably lose 30 pounds, but not if I continue to weight train. I will most likely lose fat and gain muscle, which could put me at a 10-15 pound weight loss and be healthier than if I would have not gained muscle and lost it along with the fat. Can I go without sweets? Yes, I did it for 7 months. Is it a lifestyle for me? No. I love food and through all of my battles with food and migraines, I have come to believe that it's all about moderation. Will I be able to attain the goal of working out five times a week every week? Possibly. Will I get sick? Yes. Will I get hurt? Well, if my broken finger proves anything, it's that one little broken digit can put you out of the weight room for 3 weeks. What about pregnancy? That was my goal last year. Silly. Just silly. I have absolutely no control over whether or not I can get pregnant. So why make that a goal? There are things I can do to help, but I can't make that happen. Only God can. Now, onto my biggest personal roadblock with goal setting...failure. At one point or another I will fail. And when I fail, I stop in my tracks and throw in the towel. It's mental. I know it. When I see a goal, I want to achieve the heck out of it and the perfectionism in me just can't deal. As I said before, I have gotten to know myself pretty well and here are some things I've learned so I CAN make attainable, achievable, maintainable goals...
>I know that just because I make a goal, it doesn't mean I'll stick with it.
>I don't do well with group accountability...you know like running groups or workout buddies, etc. >Comparing myself with others doesn't push me...actually it makes me want to sit down with a bag of oreos.
>People telling me what to do makes me dig in my heels (personal trainers, books, motivational speakers, etc.)
>Rewards don't do much for me. It's all about personal pride and accomplishment.
>I do really well with a plan. I love plans and lists and calendars. They help me set up my days and weeks with everything from things to accomplish, things to buy, food to cook, etc. Heck, I make lists about my lists and write things down I did yesterday just so I can cross them off my list!
>Meal prep is huge for me. I buy what I know I will eat and I make it ahead of time so I am poised to make good choices.
>If it's not in the house, I won't eat it. If it is I'm ALL OVER IT like white on rice.
>It's me vs. me that really pushes me to succeed. If I can make a better version of the same meal than I did the last time it's a victory. If I can run even 5 seconds faster than I did last Tuesday, I'm on cloud 9. If I can look at a picture of myself from this summer and see my face is thinner now, than it was before, I'm set. If I have a deeper relationship with my friends than I did last year, then it's all good.
>Food is a comfort to me, but I've learned and my husband has learned that it doesn't matter what kind of food you give me...chocolate or cauliflower...they both have the same calming effect.
Reading these over shows me just how stubborn, anti-social and self-absorbed I can be. Honestly, I think it's really healthy to take an honest look at yourself every once in a while...introspection at it's finest. But I digress...
Looking ahead and taking all these things I've learned about myself into account, I can now attempt to make some goals for 2014. They will probably sound pretty vague to you, but I've learned that I don't do well with specific, detailed goals. When they are vague, usually I blow them out of the water...for instance, in November my goal was to work out more days than not. I worked out 23 days. See? There's a method to my madness.
In no particular order...
Pray more.
Spend more quality time with my husband.
Call my friends and family more.
Send more cards.
Make a monthly calendar and exercise more days than not.
Make meal plans for most meals.
Avoid the chocolate/candy aisle.
Eat more veggies.
Eat more protein.
Up my weights.
Get faster at running.
Get faster at swimming.
Get faster at biking.
Keep going to counseling.
Read more.
Play with my dog more.
Stay off of my phone more.
Doubt myself less.
