I'm still learning

All these posts and blogs about resolutions have spurred some wonderings in me.  Over my last 30 years I've gotten to know myself pretty well.  Part of me wishes I could make goals like normal people do...lose 30 pounds, go without sweets, workout 5 days a week every single week, or get pregnant and know that I will succeed in those goals.  But I know I won't.  I'm not normal.  I'm a special kind of crazy.  Yes, I know how that sounds.  There's no doubting it though.  Those above are goals I've made for myself in the past.  Many times actually.  I've even been able to stick with them for long lengths of time.  When goal setting, one issue for me lies in maintenance.  Just because a goal is set and attained, this doesn't mean the goal goes away...a new goal slides into place or it must continue.  For instance, I've lost 30 pounds five separate times in my adult life.  Yes FIVE. Now there are two ways to look at this. 1) I achieved my weight loss goal five times!  Whoo hoo!  Way to go!  2) I did five times as much work as I would have needed to and put my body through a lot of unnecessary stress. Had I maintained my goal at age 21 when I lost the weight the first time, I wouldn't have had to deal with the last 9 years of yo-yo weight loss and weight gain.    A second roadblock in goal setting is attainability.  Are the aforementioned goals attainable for me?  Well, yes I could probably lose 30 pounds, but not if I continue to weight train.  I will most likely lose fat and gain muscle, which could put me at a 10-15 pound weight loss and be healthier than if I would have not gained muscle and lost it along with the fat.  Can I go without sweets?  Yes, I did it for 7 months.  Is it a lifestyle for me?  No.  I love food and through all of my battles with food and migraines, I have come to believe that it's all about moderation.  Will I be able to attain the goal of working out five times a week every week?   Possibly.  Will I get sick?  Yes.  Will I get hurt?  Well, if my broken finger proves anything, it's that one little broken digit can put you out of the weight room for 3 weeks.  What about pregnancy?  That was my goal last year.  Silly.  Just silly.  I have absolutely no control over whether or not I can get pregnant.  So why make that a goal?  There are things I can do to help, but I can't make that happen.  Only God can.  Now, onto my biggest personal roadblock with goal setting...failure.  At one point or another I will fail.  And when I fail, I stop in my tracks and throw in the towel.  It's mental.  I know it.  When I see a goal, I want to achieve the heck out of it and the perfectionism in me just can't deal.  As I said before, I have gotten to know myself pretty well and here are some things I've learned so I CAN make attainable, achievable, maintainable goals...
>I know that just because I make a goal, it doesn't mean I'll stick with it. 
>I don't do well with group accountability...you know like running groups or workout buddies, etc.  >Comparing myself with others doesn't push me...actually it makes me want to sit down with a bag of oreos.
>People telling me what to do makes me dig in my heels (personal trainers, books, motivational speakers, etc.)
>Rewards don't do much for me.  It's all about personal pride and accomplishment.
>I do really well with a plan.  I love plans and lists and calendars.  They help me set up my days and weeks with everything from things to accomplish, things to buy, food to cook, etc.  Heck, I make lists about my lists and write things down I did yesterday just so I can cross them off my list!
>Meal prep is huge for me.  I buy what I know I will eat and I make it ahead of time so I am poised to make good choices.
>If it's not in the house, I won't eat it.  If it is I'm ALL OVER IT like white on rice.
>It's me vs. me that really pushes me to succeed. If I can make a better version of the same meal than I did the last time it's a victory.  If I can run even 5 seconds faster than I did last Tuesday, I'm on cloud 9.  If I can look at a picture of myself from this summer and see my face is thinner now, than it was before, I'm set.  If I have a deeper relationship with my friends than I did last year, then it's all good.
>Food is a comfort to me, but I've learned and my husband has learned that it doesn't matter what kind of food you give me...chocolate or cauliflower...they both have the same calming effect. 

Reading these over shows me just how stubborn, anti-social and self-absorbed I can be.  Honestly, I think it's really healthy to take an honest look at yourself every once in a while...introspection at it's finest.  But I digress...

Looking ahead and taking all these things I've learned about myself into account, I can now attempt to make some goals for 2014.  They will probably sound pretty vague to you, but I've learned that I don't do well with specific, detailed goals.  When they are vague, usually I blow them out of the water...for instance, in November my goal was to work out more days than not.  I worked out 23 days.  See?  There's a method to my madness.

In no particular order...

Pray more.
Spend more quality time with my husband.
Call my friends and family more.
Send more cards.
Make a monthly calendar and exercise more days than not.
Make meal plans for most meals.
Avoid the chocolate/candy aisle.
Eat more veggies.
Eat more protein.
Up my weights.
Get faster at running.
Get faster at swimming.
Get faster at biking.
Keep going to counseling.
Read more.
Play with my dog more.
Stay off of my phone more.
Doubt myself less.

Back in the saddle

So I have fallen off the proverbial horse these past couple of months.  I've gained 2 pounds back, which puts me at a total 28 pound loss for the year.  Don't get me wrong, I am EXTREMELY happy with that weight loss, but at the rate I'm going it won't stay off for long.  I'm actually surprised that I haven't gained back more because I've been eating pretty much whatever I want (thankfully what I want still consists of strawberries, raspberries, spinach salads, sugar snap peas, milk, oatmeal and flax seed).  However, I also want Oreos, pumpkin bread, pasta, and ice cream sandwiches, especially now that I've found out that food isn't my main migraine trigger.  Those foods in excess combined with little exercise would be the 2 lb. weight gain culprits.  Since my 10K over a month ago I have exercised a total of 4 times.  IT IS TIME.  So this morning I got up early, went to the gym and swam laps for a half hour.  Whew.  I am beat and have SO much respect for swimmers.  I really miss running too.  I miss being sweaty from a good workout.  However, I've only had 4 migraines this month.  I'm really thinking my migraines are sometimes triggered from heart rate elevation.  Three of the migraines were this week...boo!  I woke up all three times with serious jaw pain and sore neck and shoulder muscles.  They were so tight that they were twitching...no fun.  So I went to my TMJD doctor and he treated me.  Thank goodness.  The nurses there lifted up my hair and said, "Whoa, the back of your neck is so swollen!" That was before I even had a chance to tell them how much pain I was in.  Now I am supposed to take Ibuprofen every 6 hours for 3-4 days to reduce the swelling.  "Have you been under a lot of stress, Laura?",  they ask.  They know me so well there.  Apparently, stress creates tense muscles as well as teeth grinding and ultimately, migraines.  Fun stuff.  So I need to work on more exercise, better food choices, and less stress.  I think that is America in a nutshell.  At least I'm not alone.  Seriously though, it's so important to be proactive about my health.  Exercise produces endorphins which help with energy and stress levels.  Also, food plays a HUGE role in whole body wellness.  If you eat crap, you will most likely feel like crap, and feeling like crap is stressful.  So if I eat well and exercise frequently maybe, just maybe my stress level will decrease and so will my migraines.  Worth a shot.  I just need to get in the right frame of mind.  Let's do this!

Motivation, come out come out where ever you are!

You know how I was rocking the motivation from January through July?  Well, it's long gone now.  I have had zero energy to exercise and have been seriously lacking in the eating department.  What happened?  I don't know.  Maybe it was starting back up with school.  Maybe my motivation just ran its course.  We joined a gym and ever since, I have had very low motivation to exericise.  Running is something I love, but I get migraines sometimes when I run.   I'm just sad.  I suppose motivation, like many things in life, has its mountains and its valleys.  My motivation was there for a long long time and it was powerful.  I was able to abstain from all sugar for 7 months.  I know I can get it back.  I will get the motivation to eat healthier and go to the gym on a consistant basis.  And when I do, watch out! ;)

I've been looking for you.

 

Weigh in...post vacation

Everytime I go on vacation I come back with a few souveniers...not all by choice.  Unfortunately, a few of them are extra pounds.  I'm pretty positive that I'm not alone in this plight, however.  You go on vacation, a little dessert there, a bacon cheeseburger here, a couple extra sugary beverages and BAM!  You have yourself 5lbs of extra you coming back home.  Well, I planned out 10/11 meals and was pretty active.  However, I still splurged with an extra chicken sausage, pizza and a giant ice cream cone.  Plus I didn't run.  So I wasn't sure what the scale or the measuring tape would say today.  But I have been tracking all of my food and exercise every day.  Our Marathon Weight Loss weigh in day is Monday so I had no access to a scale last week while on vacation and then waited for the official weigh in day.  Here we go.

Wake up, use the bathroom (sorry TMI) deep breath, exhale, step on and wait....


Blink....


Blink...


Blink...


YES!!!!


Down 2.6


All of the planning was worth it!!!  I'm so excited!!  My hard work is paying off.  Definitely encouraging. 

That brings my total weight loss to exactly 28 pounds since January and 36 pounds since after breaking my foot.  I tend to get discouraged when I lose 0.2 pounds or gain back what I lost the previous week, but all of those little set backs and small losses add up over time.  Over 30 weeks I have lost 28 pounds so that averages out to a little less than a pound a week.  Woot!

30 before 30

I was inspired by a fellow blogger, Hannah over at http://willmoveforcake.blogspot.com/ to compile a list of 30 things I want to accomplish or do by the time I'm 30.  I've got 8 months before I turn 30. 

Here's my list...

1) Get pregnant.
2) Eat ice cream without getting a migraine.
3) Sell 3 of my paintings.
4) Learn how to french braid my bangs.
5) Sign up for a mission trip.
6) Start a journal.
7) Read through the entire Bible again.
8) Volunteer somewhere outside my comfort zone.
9) Make my own bread from scratch.
10) Run/walk a 10K.
11) Read Gone With the Wind again.
12) Write a poetry book.
13) Make my own laundry detergent.
14) Make my own hummus.
15) Run 5 miles straight.
16) Go horse back riding and be comfortable with the horse trotting and galloping.
17) Go to a local winery.
18) Be a mentor.
19) Make a snowman with Tom.
20) Drive my SUV out of state.
21) Go kayaking.
22) Watch a sunrise with Tom.
23) Watch a sunset with Tom.
24) Learn to sew.
25) Start a Bible Study for college students.
26) Write a thank you letter to my 1st grade teacher.
27) Go to a fancy dinner and eat out of the bread basket without getting a migraine.
28) Bake a turkey all by myself.
29) Make my own Christmas cards.
30) Be thankful that I get to turn 30.

On losing a marathon...

As most of you know, my friends and fellow Sole Sisters, Jess and Heather have come up with a challenge...to lose a marathon.  That's 26.2 pounds for those of you who were wondering.  That's a lot of pounds!  Well, this is week 5/13 of the challenge and I've lost 0.8 pounds.  I lost 0.2, then lost 1.8, then gained 1.8, then lost 0.6.  At least I'm going in the right direction, collectively. 

However, needless to say, I've got a LONG way to go.  So I was getting a little down on myself because there's no way I will be losing a marathon with only 8 more weeks to go.  But then I started thinking...wait.  I have already lost a marathon since January!!!!  I have lost almost EXACTLY a marathon of pounds since the beginning of the year.  And...a total of 34 pounds since I broke my foot three years ago at my all time highest weight.  Now that is an accomplishment :) 

So here's my big realization.  It's taken me 28 weeks to lose a marathon in 2012.  Not 13 weeks (the length of this challenge).  So why do I think I would lose the same amount in less than half the time?  Plus, it gets harder (for me at least) to lose the smaller I get.  What an "aha!" moment for me. 

But that doesn't mean I am stopping or giving up just because I've lost a marathon. 
I am not done yet.  There's still 25.4 pounds to go to reach my goal weight. 

So every week Jess sets a challenge for us.  This week: Photo Journal EVERYTHING you eat. 

Whoa.  I like that idea. Take a picture of every teeny tiny bite or sip before you eat or drink it.  That's going to keep me accountable.  I know this because whenever I take a picture of one of my dinners to post on here I'm sure to make it look colorful, full of veggies, and a balance of carbs/proteins.  I might just think twice before diving into some "Pirate's Booty" snacks.  If I were to eat some "Pirate's Booty" goodness, I could just take a picture of the packaging, but I'm going to step it up and take a picture of my SERVING.  I think that will keep me even more accountable to you.  Now I don't have a smartphone so it's going to be a little bit harder, but I can go "old school" just like I have been doing and use my awesome pink Sony Cybershot.

I'm planning to make a Facebook photo album of everything I eat for the next 7 days.  I think this is going to be really good for me and I'm excited.  You don't have to make yours public if you want to join in the challenge, but I encourage you to at least take a step back and assess your food and drinks and really look at it. 

Ask yourself some important questions...Is this going to be good fuel for my body?  Is this going to make me feel gross after I eat it?  Does this help me reach towards my goals?  What is the purpose of eating this?  Will this taste good or am I just wanting to eat it because it's there?

So much of health and weight loss is food.  You can exercise like it's your job, but if your food isn't nutricious, filling, and tasty, you won't see or reap the full benefits of your hard work.  And face it, if you are going to go to all the trouble of walking, running, biking, Zumba, yoga, pilates, weight lifting, swimming, tennis, etc, then make sure it counts!  Don't spoil your efforts by eating all those calories you just burned and don't spoil it by eating a bag of cheetos after you've done a few miles on the treadmill because you "earned it".  Don't you think you "earned a healthy life" and not some food that's going to cancel out everything you've done??  It just doesn't make sense.  You are not a dog, so don't reward yourself with food.  Reward yourself with the self confidence, self assurance, and pride that you earned this healthy body of yours...even if it doesn't "look" healthier you know that if you made healthier choices your body most certainly is too. 

I think it's all about knowing why you are eating.  If you want a sweet treat or a second helping of dinner and you are okay with the calorie/fat content and will balance it out with the rest of your meals then go for it.  If you are eating it because you feel you deserve it or you feel "naughty" and just want to break your own rules then that's an entirely different issue.  Food is not supposed to be used in that way.

I too need to listen to my own rants.  I am pretty good at not seeing food as a reward for being "good".  I really dislike when people say they were "good" or "bad".  It's not all "bad" if you had a couple scoops of ice cream.  It's not all "good" to eat all veggies and fruits with no fats at all.  Our bodies need fats like those found in salmon or olive oil or even nuts.  Plus, you are not going to gain 5 pounds if you eat a candy bar.  You will not ruin your entire day or weight loss journey if you eat a candy bar.  If you eat a candy bar every day, the weight probably won't come off as quickly, but if that's what is going to keep you sane and on your plan for the rest of your meals and snacks, then do what you need to do. 

Something I really need to work on is not eating my exercise calories.  That's most likely why the weight isn't coming off quickly.  I do get really hungry when I'm working on consistantly and I tell myself that it's okay to eat an extra helping or have a "before bed" snack because my stomach is truly growling. Yes, it is okay for me to eat something extra, but not a half a bag of tortila chips or 2 EXTRA slices of Tom's homemade pizza.  I need to make better choices when I'm hungry, which all goes back to my photo journaling goal.  I hope and believe this is going to help me a lot.  This turned into a really lengthy post!  Congrats for staying with me til the end!

It's time to keep on keepin' on.  Won't lose hope...just pounds.

Goals

All year I've been talking to my students about the importance of goal setting in all aspects of life.  It's time for me to go from talking the talk to walking the walk.  My fellow sole sister, Jess has come up with a great weight loss challenge:

**Just to clarify, this is not to train for a marathon or run a marathon.  It's just to lose the amount of weight of a marathon.

Don't worry I'm still a slow jogger and 3 miles is still a stretch for me ;)

If I "lose a marathon" I will have lost just over 50 pounds!  Whoa. 

Crazy to think about. 

But that will put me right at my goal weight. 

This is just the thing to get me right where I need to be so I can be healthy.

So here's the plan...

Here are my exercise goals for the summer:

Eat to live, not live to eat.

Eat for my body, not for my heart or my head.

Exercise for my health, not to look good in a swimsuit.

This is how I plan to reach my goals with exercise:

I want to pick one of these activities five days a week.

jogging

walking

yoga

biking

resistance band/stretching

hiking

Since getting healthy is 30% exercise and 70% food I am making food goals a priority as well.  I already eat pretty well with eliminating sugars and preservatives.  I also eat a TON of fruit.  But I am still eating really big portions of my main course and not enough veggies.

This is how I plan to reach my goals with food:

50% of my meal/plate will be veggies or fruit.

25% of my meal will be starch.

25% of my meal will be protein.

I'm already part way there.  I just need to substitute some starches for veggies during meals and snacks and I will be good to go. :)

Snacks I have on hand:

triscuits

hummus

edamame

celery

carrots

cheese

hard boiled eggs

homemade popcorn

bananas

berries

apples

smoothies

grapes

Anything I am missing from this list that are great no sugar/high energy snacks??  I know almonds and peanut butter are great for you too, but I think I may be nut intolerant so I'm steering clear of those foods right now.

What are your goals?

Couch to 5K

This girl was the LAST to finish the mile in high school and hasn't run since....until 2 weeks ago. 

My friend asked me to join her running group and explained that they not only run, but also have a walk/jog group.  I thought to myself, "I can definitely walk and maybe I'll try a little jog." Well, I was at the front of the walk/jog group the whole time and we did a lot of jogging.  90 seconds walk/30 seconds jog/repeat for 2.4 miles!  Wowzers!  I did it!  I ended up with a migraine from pushing too hard at the end, but I did it (with the help of my inhaler)  I was diagnosed with Exercise Induced Asthma last year.  My inhaler has made SUCH a huge difference in my exercise. 

I've always secretly wanted to be able to run a 5K, which is 3.1 miles I think.  Runners please correct me if I'm wrong.  It's running for about 30 minutes and I think that's a good healthy amount of time to exercise.  So I surfed the Internet for a couch to 5k program that I would like and I found one that seemed pretty user friendly here http://www.fromcouchto5k.com/articles/training/the-couch-to-5k-training-plan/

I am on Week 2 :)  I cannot believe how easy and how fast my body has adjusted to running.  Last night I walked 5 min, ran 5 min, walked 5 min.  It felt so good!  I can't believe how much energy I have after I finish!  Grab a good pair of running shoes, a stopwatch (or your choice of advanced technology) and join me! It's always great to have accountability :)

Resolutions & Roasted Lemon Garlic Shrimp

This morning God turned on the lightbulb for me.  Our pastor spoke on resolutions and focusing on the "main thing" which is to love the Lord your God.  He encouraged us to make a resolution this year, but not just make one, but thoughtfully consider what specific thing you could do keeping in mind the verse "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind. (Matthew 22:37).  That's why we were made and that's our purpose.  There are so many ways to do this by talking to people around you when you are at home, out and about or relaxing.  Make loving God the forefront of your life and show others that you love your Lord.  Wow.  That sounds hard.  I guess it's both overwhelming and encouraging at the same time.  I love to talk so that part comes easy to me.  Now I just need to show love when I talk without complaining or judging...now that's the tricky part. 

I also have other goals for myself such as appreciating more, looking on the brighter side, working out on a consistent basis, eating healthier foods, staying away from chocolate, improving my attitude and so forth.  There are so many things I want to improve about myself.  Our pastor continued and said once you have a resolution in mind, write it down, review it and most importantly SHARE it with someone.  Well, that's what I am doing right now.  I am sharing it with you.  Because I have so many things I want to work on AND I tend to be a perfectionist and get very discouraged when I do fail I've decided on a different type of resolution:  "When I mess up, I won't give up."  Notice the "when"...I know I will mess up because I am human and imperfect.  Thankfully Jesus died for my imperfection and took my sins away when he did or else I'd really be up a creek.  But back to my point, I know I will mess up...that's a given.  However, it's the getting back on the proverbial horse that's the hard part.  That's what I need to work on.  So this year I am going to keep on keeping on no matter how many times I mess up.  If you are reading this feel free to call me out if I don't! :)

So, to keep my promise from yesterday I am going to post my first anti-inflammatory recipe from CinnamonSpice&EverythingNice...Roasted Lemon Garlic Herb Shrimp. 

I'm making it tomorrow night so I'll let you know how it turns out...enjoy :)

Roasted Lemon Garlic Herb Shrimp

(adapted from Fine Cooking)

1/3 cup olive oil

1 lemon, zested then half cut into thin slices and other half into wedges

3-4 fresh thyme sprigs, leaves removed (I'm using the thyme that's in my spice rack)

sea or kosher salt and fresh black pepper
whole wheat spaghetti/pasta, couscous or brown rice for serving

1 pound fresh shrimp, medium-sized, deveined with tails off
5 cloves garlic, minced (I'm using about 3 tbsp. out of my super sized jar of minced garlic)

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. In a 9×13 baking pan combine olive oil, lemon zest and thyme. Season with salt and pepper. Bake in oven for 12 minutes. Meanwhile cook pasta, couscous or rice.

2. Remove pan from oven, add shrimp, garlic and the thin sliced lemons (don’t squeeze them), toss to coat with oil mixture. Bake for 8-10 more minutes or until shrimp turn pink and start to curl. Serve over whole wheat pasta, couscous or brown rice tossed with extra-virgin olive oil and fresh-squeezed lemon with additional lemon wedges for serving.