So it's Monday so that means it's "Lose a Marathon Weigh In Day". Well, I was not looking forward to it because yesterday was a rough day. In a nutshell, I have a rough relationship with my dad (non-existant). Then my grandma decided to try to make me feel guilty for it at our family reunion yesterday. Well, I got pretty emotional after that and I am an emotional eater so I ended up eating an entire box of macaroni and cheese....gross. I felt disgusting and was so mad at myself. I ended up gaining the pound and a half that I lost last week. So I am the same as I was 2 weeks ago. Which should be fine, but I look back on all the calorie counting, running, exercise, self-discipline and I want to scream. It's just one of those things though that I have to plow through. I know I'm not technically fatherless, but my father doesn't speak or me or want anything to do with my life so I feel that I am. This verse keeps popping into my head..."God is a father to the fatherless." Oh what a comfort. I am so thankful that I have my Father in Heaven who is constantly watching out for me, holding me, protecting me, and loving me with a deeper love than I can ever imagine possible. My Father in Heaven is unfailing and ever present in times of trouble and for that I will continue to praise him and will not be broken hearted. I will press on and be thankful for all of the MANY MANY blessings He has given me in my life. Tom, my mom, my family, friends, co-workers, a job, cozy house, reliable car to drive, the peace I feel when I give my life to Him and many more. It's going to be a good day because God made it :)
Oh and go check out my guest blog over at http://www.eatteachblog.com/ today! It's a good one, I promise!! :)
The only thing that stopped me from running to mac & cheese for comfort eating is a gluten intolerance. So I understand eating an entire box, and understand having "daddy issues" though different. :)
ReplyDeleteLaura, you are so very loved by many people, including many, many people on your dad's side of the family. Whatever issues he has are his, and even though I know this is hard to do, don't make them your issues. You are an incredible woman and don't ever sell yourself short. I understand about the emotional eating and about how frustrating it is to have worked so hard and then seeing all your hard work go down the tubes because of getting upset. Just know that it's a very human response, and on the "up" side, you haven't gained weight from two weeks ago. Overall, you know you are on the right track. I am very proud of you and the self-discipline you show. I struggle with just cutting out desserts, but to have no sugar at all is a whole other step. You are doing everything right, in your eating and exercise habits and in the way you live your life. You are exceptional. Don't let the negativity that radiates from your dad and his parents reflect on you. You are a bright spot in my life and in the lives of many others. I love you!
ReplyDelete(I had no idea you were struggling at the reunion!! Should have come over to me and Bob!) I just want to say that I think you may have lost the pounds in fat, but gained it back in muscle due to your increase in exercise. Ain't no mac 'n cheese fault. ;) Love ya!
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